A BIT OF A RANT HERE. BUT AS THE OLD SAYING GOES, BETTER OUT THAN IN

 It is the summer of 2020. And here we are. Right in the middle of a pandemic. But there is another pandemic here. It has been close to us, touched most of us, and it grows still; festering and spreading.

 

It’s called ghosting.

 

While being ghosted by someone (in most cases) won’t kill you. Like COVID-19, it can take several weeks, months, if not years to recover. And also like COVID-19 , it will definitely leave its mark on you. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even - in some cases - physically.  It causes damage. And it can scar.

And it doesn’t just stop with you. Oh no, It also affects the people who are in your life now and also future relationships and friendships.

This is where I find myself today. Smack dab in the middle of being ghosted by someone I trusted. Someone that cruelly inserted himself into my life at a time that was already stressful, and offered friendship, companionship, and affection. All the while (unbeknownst to me) with apparently no real intention on following through with any of it. Now, I will admit. Was I absolutely happy before he came in and disrupted my life? No. Was I getting by, and doing ok for the most part? Yes.

And, this is what is particularly maddening, annoying, and irritating about this relatively new phenomena called ghosting. Here you are; minding your own business, living your life. You are dong ok - if not better - and someone, for whatever reason, comes into your life, makes a huge mess, and then poof! Gone. Goodbye. Leaving you to clean up all the mess.  A mess that never would have been there had they not shown up in the first place. Uninvited.

This new culture of not apologizing. Of not working through the hard times and feelings. Of not using your words and not communicating. Of not putting in the time and effort. And of flippantly jumping in and out of relationships is the REAL epidemic that we are facing. It is harmful. The lasting effects of this can stay with someone for years. It affects them, their families, and friends.

This is an absolutely ridiculous thing to do to someone. And people who choose to do this are ridiculous people.

 

They are COWARDS.

Why do people do this? How can they just completely ignore someone that they have shared so much with and move on with absolutely no remorse? 

It is psychotic behavior.

It is also cold and absolutely heartless.

 

We are losing our ability to work through problems. To communicate, and to grow. Instead, we go for the easy fix. The band aid. And because of that - because we are not willing to bleed, fix, and heal, we are now breeding a generation of cowards and emotionally immature and unstable people into the world.

 

Being caspered is not fun. Being caspered by a grown ass man is definitely not fun. And being capered by a guy that reached out to you after six years with (obvious) false intentions is most definitely NOT fun.

But as the kids say today, whatever… NEXT!  

I have faith (I have to) that somewhere out there, there is a man – not a guy – but a MAN that actually knows what it means to (and knows how to) communicate. And if for some reason he wants to dump me, he’ll have enough balls to sack up and do it in person. And if he doesn’t want to dump me. He’ll have enough balls to sack up… and take the next step.

To my ghoster:  I don’t know how you can stand yourself. But still, I hope you find someone you can relate to.

Someone exactly. Like. You.

Never look back, never give up.