Family Matters

I have a love/hate relationship with my family.

Well, with two brothers, more specifically.

Usually, it’s one of these brother’s (let’s call him brother A) that hurts my feelings the most. He is intentionally cruel to me for his own amusement, and treats me the worst.

I try to avoid him as much as possible.

However, sometimes it’s the other brother. For the sake of this blog post, we we’ll call him brother B. About brother B: I love him, and he can be kind. But there are times when I think, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!  Yesterday was one of those days.

Without going into too much detail, a lot is going on within the family. On top of that, I am dealing with work/co-workers who are intensely stressful. In addition to this, I was sick in July and also had to take care of someone else (who was the reason why I got sick) who is dealing with health issues.

So, it’s been a lot.

 The candle on top of this cake, is that yesterday bother B chose to use me like the toilet bowl he thinks I am and shit all over me. Why, you ask? Did I commit murder? Did I hurt or injure anyone? Did I cause any kind of harm to anyone? Was I unkind to someone? No. My colossal, awful, and one real mistake (if you even want to call it a mistake) in life was this: Instead of finishing college at 22, like most people, I finished at 30. THAT is my colossal mistake. This is what brother B constantly hangs over my head and judges me for. Yes, I know this my sound stupid to anyone reading this (it sounds that way, because it is), but it is true. Apparently, I am an awful and stupid person for this. And everything that is wrong in my life (being single, being non-wealthy, being a loner) stems from this. But, and here is the ridiculous (yet kinda funny) part: According to brother B, I am total loser for making this one “mistake” in my life. Yet, other people (some who are related, who have let BOTH of us down our entire lives) get a pass. When he talks to them, he is the sweet and understang brother B. And instead of making them feel like the loser that they (really) are, because of the massive mistakes that they have made, they get told comforting things like “everyone makes mistakes,” and “we are all trying to get through.”

What the actual FUCK.

Brother B is a big advocate of therapy. Insert eyeroll. But seriously, there is no shade in this, specifically. He just gets to my last nerve. However, he (again) constantly uses this to tell anyone who will listen that he is enlightened, while the rest of us, non-therapy folks are complete losers.

Maybe, he ought to talk to his therapist about how judgement and self-righteous he can be? I think people sometimes forget that just because they think something is right or wrong, doesn’t mean that it is.

Maybe bother B needs a new therapist.

Maybe brother B needs to get over himself.

Maybe, it’s a bit of both.

Just a thought.